Yes You Can! (Flush The Toilet and Wash Your Hands)
By Cindy Furnare
July 1, 2002
Originally published January 19, 2000
CINDY'S NOTE: I absolutely cannot believe that San Francisco is still debating whether it is ok for a person to urinate/defecate in public. Doesn't San Francisco have any morals at all? Apparently not.
When a guy can drop his drawers and water a tree in the public square, but a dog owner is fined if his doggy does the big No.2 in a public place and the owner doesn't pick it up --- you know it's a crazy, crazy world in San Francisco. I know, I know --- nothing new.
Anyway, here is a short commentary I wrote the last time I heard this debate. I have slightly modified it for today's debate. If you know anyone in San Francisco, pass this on.
I was totally amazed that an underwhelming national debate has sprung up regarding whether urinating and defecating in public should be a crime. Using only a pinch of common sense, I can answer this politically charged national question right now so that we, the people of the United States of America can get on to the really important issues facing Americans today. I have resolved this issue by publishing online THE NOT AT HOME BATHROOM GUIDE. Please read THE NOT AT HOME BATHROOM GUIDE carefully. I am not responsible should you misuse this guide. You have my permission to reprint THE NOT AT HOME BATHROOM GUIDE. You can carry this simple missive with you at all times should you so desire to do so. WARNING: Do not use THE NOT AT HOME BATHROOM GUIDE as a substitute for toilet paper.
THE NOT AT HOME BATHROOM GUIDE
When one is not at home, or when one is homeless; one might find that he/she has to go to the bathroom. THE NOT AT HOME BATHROOM GUIDE is a simple step-by-step solution to finding and using public toilet facilities.
1. LOCATE THE NEAREST BATHROOM
Other common terminology may be substituted for the word "bathroom" such as "the restroom," "the facilities," or "the toilet." If you are not at home, begin to search for a public bathroom. Public bathrooms which are open for public use can be found in many commercial buildings, gas stations, and fast food restaurants. Parks, playgrounds, and some large cities may provide clearly marked portable toilet facilities for public use. Some large cities may also provide "pay toilet" facilities for public use.
2. USING THE PUBLIC TOILET FACILITIES
Once you have located a public toilet, close the door. Use the toilet as intended by the manufacturer's recommendation. When you are finished, flush the toilet. Wash and dry your hands thoroughly.
3. WHEN YOU ARE FINISHED USING THE PUBLIC TOILET FACILITIES
Leave the bathroom and continue on with what you were doing before you had to use the public toilet facilities.
4. REALITY CHECK
Did you know that in many areas of the United States you may be cited for urinating and/or defecating in public? Most cities, counties, and states have their own code of law which specifically addresses and/or generally covers urinating and/or defecating in public. People who lawfully use public toilet facilities in the legally prescribed manner are obviously not breaking any laws and are people you feel comfortable shaking hands with.
This is not rocket science friends. Cindy says, "Common Sense -- It's A Brain Thing."
Copyright 2002 by Cindy Furnare. Not to be reproduced in any fashion, in whole or in part, without written consent from the author. All rights reserved.