Patricia Sharon Neill
Political: You bet. A former liberal, I am now radically
conservative/libertarian--I believe in and support limited government,
prolife politics, and personal responsibility in all
areas of life. I usually vote for libertarian or independent candidates,
and don't see much use for either of the two major parties. Maybe the
Republicans will shape up and get strongly pro-life and pro-Constitution,
but I ain't going to be holding my breath.
Hobbies: Writing humor, especially political satire. Conspiracy
theories--the stranger the better, although there are many facts in
those theories. Gardening--I never cease to be amazed at God's
glorious bounty that erupts out of the soil with a bit of work every
summer. Reading history and philosophy. Most of all, talking about
politics, current events, and what makes the world twitch, fidget, and
go on ticking.
Favorite Music: Eclectic. I missed out on my generation's music and
delved into Delta Blues, old time string band music, all kinds of
music from around the world: African juju and drums, Cuban drums and
dance music, Django Reinhardt and Stephan Graphelli, black gospel,
rockabilly,
Mozart... I love to dance, so any music that gets my feet moving sounds
good to me.
Feminism: It used to be a valid philosophy, but today I find it
vapid
and intellectually sterile. I got into it years ago when I
thought feminism would help women become stronger people. I left the
movement at the first whiff of its current indulgence in victim
ideology.
Webpage: I don't have one, but a sweetheart writer, Redmon Barbry
(a man of
immoderate opinions, as his ezine Fratricide says) has archived some
of my essays at http://redmon.deltos.com/fratpn01.htm
E-Mail: pnpj@db1.cc.rochester.edu
How did a liberal feminist of many years standing become a staunch
conservative?
I wish I could say it was the voice of God, booming at me from the
Heavens or burning my soul from a bush, telling me to get a clue, get
right with Him, and start making sense, but it wasn't.
I wish I could say a marvelous and under-read book of
conservative philosophy, such as Richard M. Weaver's _Ideas Have
Consequences_, was the foundational work that changed my intellectual
viewpoint and altered my life. But that wasn't it.
I wish I could say that what made me change my political stripe
so radically was good, solid, hearty debate on the internet and
elsewhere over the pros and cons of a conservative versus a liberal
political perpective. But that wasn't it.
I wish I could say it was the influence of many friends,
acquaintances, and family members, but while I felt their inspiration,
I was more inclined to argue than to actually *listen* to what
any conservative had to say. Their influence came
more to bear after I had already accepted that "right wing conservative"
did not mean "extremist" or "racist" or "armed and dangerous" or any of
the
other tags liberals attempt to hang around our necks. Influence wasn't
it either.
So what happened?
What finally changed me into a conservative was a book-long fit
of giggles, snorts, guffaws, cackles, chortles, chuckles, titters and
downright howls. As silly as it sounds, it was 233 pages of some of
the best laughs I'd had in a long, long time. P.J. O'Rourke's
brilliant _Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain
the Entire U.S. Government_ was the culprit, and I still laugh to this day
when I read it. O'Rourke is a gifted writer, and while he is not
H.L. Mencken, he sure is funny. And he has an absolutely delicious knack
for puncturing silly, self-satisified liberal balloons. In reading
O'Rourke's
descriptions of liberals and the government I got to laughing so hard
that some solid conservative ideas managed to sneak into my head
while I was busy falling off my chair and rolling on the floor. His
book is a whoosh of a read, and somehow in between unfeminine
snorts and wild guffaws, my outlook on politics and life simply *changed.*
Keep in mind that I was one of the people O'Rourke is talking
about in the following passage, a description of the various people
who came to a demonstration on homelessness, and keep in mind as well
how a certain note of funny common sense underlies his pique:
World Council of Churches sensible-shoe types who have self-
righteousness the some people have bad breath
Angry black poverty pests making a life and a living off the
misfortune of others
Even angrier feminists doing their best to feminize poverty
before the blacks use it all up
Earnest neophyte Marxists, eyes glazed from dialectical
epiphanies and hands grubby from littering the Mall with ill-Xeroxed
tracts
College bohos dressed in black to show how gloomy the world is
when you're a nineteen year-old rich kid
Young would-be hippies dressed exactly like old hippies used to
dress (remarkable how behind the times the avant-garde has gotten)
And some of those old hippies themselves, faded jeans straining
beneath increasing paunches, hair still tied into a ponytail in the
back but gone forever on the top
Together these people constitute America's loudest special
interest (and the only true, permanent underclass)--the Perennially
Indignant. As always these days, they were joined by greedy
celebrities who aren't contented with fame and money and want a
reputation for moral goodness, too.
I don't know about you, but that line about the feminists made me
howl. Even though I still considered myself one at the time.
Now, humor is a odd thing, and I'm sure not everyone will find
Mr. O'Rourke funny, but I thought he was a riot. And suddenly, all the
things I'd been thinking about for years: why liberal policies never
seemed to work, my personal struggle with the issue of abortion,
random thoughts about how I disliked the moral smugness that liberals
evince when given the tiniest chance, the taxes that go up unendingly only
to then be spent by a profligate Congress on any whimsical, fool
thing they desire, the corruption that we were beginning to see then
and today which threatens to destroy our very institutions of
government--all these began to make sense when I saw them from P.J.'s
point
of view. As the opening quote from Horace says, "What stops a man
who can laugh from telling the truth?"
What I have found is that when people are surprised into
laughter, thoughts they don't usually think can drill through the
thick armor we call skulls. And so it is: humor works, it is one of
the wild human talents that simply cannot be tamed, certainly not by
something as boringly Soviet-Russian as political correctness.
Contrary to much of what I've written here, I am a serious
person. Until, that is, something strikes me funny. Thank goodness,
many things do, for I consider laughter one of God's greatest boons.
Laughter can make any heart lighter of its worries, it can make the
sane saner, the healthy healthier, and it can heal.
Age: Old enough to know better, young enough to still do
cartwheels.
Occupation: Managing Editor of Blake/An Illustrated Quarterly, a
scholarly journal on the poet and artist William Blake. I'm also a
freelance writer, editor and researcher.
How I Became A Conservative
by Patricia Neill
And Lordamighty--it can change a died-in-the-blood liberal
into a conservative.
Ain't that a hoot?
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