The Pathetic Psycobabbler
By Jennifer King
kingfish@ucnsb.net
Featured Rightgrrl December 1998
August 13, 1999

Is there any more contemptible couple than the Clintons? It certainly is difficult to imagine a more tawdry pair - the sort of low class hicks you hope would never move in next door. We've had to undergo Bill's battle of the bulge and pasty, pudgy thighs. We've had to suffer through Hillary's chunky ankles and cellulite. We've had to endure the revulsion of picturing Bill, Monica and the cigar - all occurring in the People's Office while the man in question was supposed to be at work. Ugh, ugh, ugh. Clinton "fatigue"? It's more like Clinton nausea.

Now, we've heard from the First Enabler - in an Oprahized interview in which Hillary apparently attempts to overcome her stern, Nurse Rachet-like reputation by spilling all the details of the Clinton's pathetic excuse of a marriage. In unerring baby boomer victim-speak she whines, "Oh, it's not poor Billy's fault.", blaming his pathological behavior with women on two of his relatives who are, conveniently, dead. Bill, thus excused, will no doubt find more willing interns to go along with his next order of Domino's and we will have to suffer through still more revelations about his bizarre kinkiness and what he apparently thinks is justifiable office behavior.

Hillary even goes so far as to posit reasons for Bill's repeated lying under oath and his abuse of the American legal system - he did it to "protect" her, you see. Ha, ha, ha and if you believe that one I've got a great bridge in Arkansas to sell you. Who among the credulous doesn't believe that Mrs. Clinton knew all along about the Gennifers, Kathleens, Paulas and Juanitas? Bill has been nothing if not consistent, and Hillary's role in the vilification of every woman who has come forward to expose him has been well-documented. Hillary has been a willing participant in the Clinton Administration's slash and burn policy towards women, and her comments therefore are either childishly naive or sternly calculated in order to generate sympathy for her in the role of the wronged wife. More "poor me-ism" from our arbiter of victimhood, she of the dark Vast Right Wing Conspiracy and Hatred of Arkansas theories.

And through it all, we suffer. Forced to endure the lurid tales, the alleged screaming matches, the thrown ashtrays - all the whirling chaos that is the Clinton White House. It's as though we were held captive in front of an endless screening of Roseanne episodes. Enough!

Phony attempts at rehabilitation such as Mrs. Clinton's Vogue cover notwithstanding, Hill and Bill embody stereotypical white trash at its most stereotypical. When they finally leave the White House could somebody please hire a janitorial team armed with Lysol, bleach and a steam cleaner? And don't forget to count the silverware.

This article copyright © 1999 by Jennifer King and may not be reproduced in any form without the express written consent of its author. All rights reserved.